Remorse

Dear Miss Betsy,

Thank you for the email—we sincerely appreciate your serious concern about McDiesel’s behavior at school. We’re glad to hear you feel he’s made great strides behaviorally in the past months (especially since we had no idea you were undertaking such strides whatsoever).

To answer your pressing question (and thank you for asking): yes, in fact we do think our little boy is equipped with remorse. We think his laughter—the disturbing “joking” you refer to—is actually a nervous reaction to knowing he has made, as you say, a poor choice, but not knowing exactly how to fix it. I know, still—very frustrating. Be that as it may, we do not believe our four-year-old is a sociopath who is incapable of feeling remorse for swinging a toy after being asked (repeatedly, yes, yes, I understand) to stop. (May I also respectfully suggest that Miss P who presides over Lunch Buddies is not ideally suited—in patience, humor, or temperament—to small children generally?)

We, too, hope that the Holy Spirit will work in his little soul, and I’m sure he was edified by the lesson to listen and obey grownups, as well as the Lord. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day as nursery school Directress to instruct him thus. I will add a Listen & Obey (Grownups and Lord) category to his sticker chart immediately. We find positive reinforcement and praise to be more effective, perhaps, than metaphysical sermons at this stage (though–again–please accept our sincere thanks for your fervent efforts).

You have my every assurance that we indeed take McDiesel’s behavior most seriously. I can promise you that I will worry over his inadequate capacity for remorse  and, therefore, his probable future as a serial killer, terrorist, or (let’s hope!) garden-variety miscreant for the next several nights.

P.S. Good to know, however, that poking Spencer in the eye was, after all, an accident!

P.P.S. Please sign me up for school fundraiser set-up, serving, and break-down for this Thursday evening in addition to the six desserts I’ve volunteered to bring.

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2 thoughts on “Remorse

  1. “I will add a Listen & Obey (Grownups and Lord) category to his sticker chart immediately. We find positive reinforcement and praise to be more effective, perhaps, than metaphysical sermons at this stage”

    Best. Comeback. Ever.

  2. Pingback: Telling « Useless Anxieties

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